Time's Twitter text (in 18 tweets)

LIFEembedDrawImage(85595147); Time's Bonnie Rochman says pastor John Voelz "was down with Twitter before most people knew it was a proper noun."

Only 140 characters? Grrrrr. Rochman's article is here.

Voelz, of Westwinds Community Church in Michigan, uses Twitter to help "make [church] not suck."

Surely we all agree that not sucking is part of the Christian church's cultural mandate, if not even a spiritual vocation.

Rochman: "There's a time and a place for technology, and most houses of worship still say it's not at morning Mass." Luddites! Censors!

Westwinds Community Church celebrates Mass? The Catholic Moment has surpassed even the fondest hopes of Richard John Neuhaus!

Rochman: "If worship is about creating community, Twitter is an undeniably useful tool." Feel the glow from hundreds of tiny keypads.

Next Level Church of Matthews, N.C., is here.

Easter thought from Pastor Todd Hahn of Next Level Church: "I hope many of you are tweeting this morning about your experience with God."

I would tweet more, pastor, if only "Hail Thee, Festival Day" used fewer notes and shorter words. Ask the praise band to tone it down.

Rochman: "150 or so Twitterers" at Westwind "are free to tweet at any time, at any service, whenever the spirit moves them."

Normally a reference to the Holy Spirit requires a capital s -- but in this story, lowercasing feels like a safer bet.

Hahn again: "If God leads you to continue this as a form of worship[,] by all means do it." Question: Does God have a Twitter account?

Deeper theological question: Presuming a Twitter account for the Almighty, would God check the box that says "Protect my updates"?

Still deeper theological question: Would God post updates, or merely follow others' tweets? My head is starting to hurt.

A graphic designer is glad for "no more misplaced musings jotted down on that day's program" because "your notes are there forever."

Outstanding! How did the theologians of old remember any of their insights without Twitter? Could God even speak to them without it?

My head hurts even worse. Why didn't someone warn me that Twitter requires so much abstract thinking? Time for another can of Red Bull.

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