Comments on: Are children a form of wealth? http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=are-children-a-form-of-wealth "The press . . . just doesn't get religion." -- William Schneider Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:04:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Suzanne http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142419 Suzanne Sun, 22 Feb 2009 15:03:02 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142419 One thing I've heard from adults who grew up as older siblings in very large families is that they spent much of their childhood acting as unpaid babysitters. Many are quite bitter about having had no opportunities to do the normal things their peers did and they've made a conscious decision not to have as many children. Obviously every kid can find a reason to go back and fault their parents, but the actual experiences of children who grew up in large families -- the good and the bad -- seems to me a necessary component of writing about them. One thing I’ve heard from adults who grew up as older siblings in very large families is that they spent much of their childhood acting as unpaid babysitters. Many are quite bitter about having had no opportunities to do the normal things their peers did and they’ve made a conscious decision not to have as many children.

Obviously every kid can find a reason to go back and fault their parents, but the actual experiences of children who grew up in large families — the good and the bad — seems to me a necessary component of writing about them.

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]]> By: Darel http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142391 Darel Sat, 21 Feb 2009 21:36:27 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142391 A very interesting statistic gleaned from <a href="http://pewsocialtrends.org/downloads/" title="" rel="nofollow">Pew Research Center, <i>Social & Demographic Trends: Marriage/Parenthood</i>, 2007</a>. Percentage of people who believe children are "not important" for making "a successful marriage", by level of education Less than high school: 12.0% High school or vo-tech: 21.9% Some college: 29.8% College graduate: 33.0% Post-graduate/professional: 41.3% Percentage of people who believe children are "very important" for making "a successful marriage", by level of education Less than high school: 74.1% High school or vo-tech: 51.4% Some college: 39.3% College graduate: 35.7% Post-graduate/professional: 27.1% A very interesting statistic gleaned from Pew Research Center, Social & Demographic Trends: Marriage/Parenthood, 2007.

Percentage of people who believe children are “not important” for making “a successful marriage”, by level of education

Less than high school: 12.0%
High school or vo-tech: 21.9%
Some college: 29.8%
College graduate: 33.0%
Post-graduate/professional: 41.3%

Percentage of people who believe children are “very important” for making “a successful marriage”, by level of education

Less than high school: 74.1%
High school or vo-tech: 51.4%
Some college: 39.3%
College graduate: 35.7%
Post-graduate/professional: 27.1%

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]]> By: Novidades do dia 21/02/2009 - Ano IV « agência para promoção da inclusão http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142364 Novidades do dia 21/02/2009 - Ano IV « agência para promoção da inclusão Sat, 21 Feb 2009 09:54:48 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142364 [...] Are children a form of wealth? http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950 [...] […] Are children a form of wealth? http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950 […]

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]]> By: Steynian 326 « Free Canuckistan! http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142338 Steynian 326 « Free Canuckistan! Fri, 20 Feb 2009 19:59:35 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142338 [...] LOTS OF BABIES: Are children a form of wealth? …. [...] […] LOTS OF BABIES: Are children a form of wealth? …. […]

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]]> By: Sherry http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142336 Sherry Fri, 20 Feb 2009 19:40:48 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142336 Sarah, I recomend the book Voices of Autism, both for inspiration and comfort. As a former Special educator who worked with autistic teens, you have my support and sympathy in the hard push part of parenting that having a child with sensory processing issues involves. I have one son with Downs but it is not the same, and I was not advocating that everyone must have untold numbers of children, only that it is not as impossible as the world would have us believe. Sarah, I recomend the book Voices of Autism, both for inspiration and comfort.

As a former Special educator who worked with autistic teens, you have my support and sympathy in the hard push part of parenting that having a child with sensory processing issues involves.

I have one son with Downs but it is not the same, and I was not advocating that everyone must have untold numbers of children, only that it is not as impossible as the world would have us believe.

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]]> By: News for February 20 | Xenia Institute http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142326 News for February 20 | Xenia Institute Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:41:18 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142326 [...] link: Are Children a Form of Wealth?  |  GetReligion Please Share and [...] […] link: Are Children a Form of Wealth?  |  GetReligion Please Share and […]

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]]> By: Sarah Webber http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142323 Sarah Webber Fri, 20 Feb 2009 15:55:44 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142323 If you have neurotypical children, three or four or more seems possible. My eldest has high functioning autism and we consider ourselves greatly blessed that his younger sister only has a sensory disorder and a speech delay. I think my son is the only one in his all-autistic preschool class to have a younger sibling. We love our children but sometimes the thought of years of IEP's stretching out before us is a little disheartening. And we are planning for certain not to have any more. If you have neurotypical children, three or four or more seems possible. My eldest has high functioning autism and we consider ourselves greatly blessed that his younger sister only has a sensory disorder and a speech delay. I think my son is the only one in his all-autistic preschool class to have a younger sibling. We love our children but sometimes the thought of years of IEP’s stretching out before us is a little disheartening. And we are planning for certain not to have any more.

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]]> By: Sherry http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142318 Sherry Fri, 20 Feb 2009 14:49:55 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142318 Thank you for addressing this topic so well. I read all 72 comments on the New York Time article. The level of ire against those with more than 3 children is real. As the mom of 9, I can tell you, I've been told to my face in FRONT of my children, "ARE YOU CRAZY?" It is hard not to want at that point, to turn to my built in loyal horde and say, "Sic 'em!" but children are a form of spiritual wealth, and that sort of treasure does not translate to a fat 401 K or make much sense to the world. It's no sacrifice to be surrounded by love. It is what makes living in the "real world" bearable. Thank you for addressing this topic so well. I read all 72 comments on the New York Time article. The level of ire against those with more than 3 children is real. As the mom of 9, I can tell you, I’ve been told to my face in FRONT of my children, “ARE YOU CRAZY?”

It is hard not to want at that point, to turn to my built in loyal horde and say, “Sic ‘em!” but children are a form of spiritual wealth, and that sort of treasure does not translate to a fat 401 K or make much sense to the world.

It’s no sacrifice to be surrounded by love. It is what makes living in the “real world” bearable.

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]]> By: Eve Tushnet http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142294 Eve Tushnet Fri, 20 Feb 2009 05:55:06 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142294 In terms of journalism, I think these family-structure stories are so incredibly difficult because in order to portray a "balanced," positives-and-negatives picture the reporter would often need to get parents to speak negatively about their experiences with their children or vice versa. I wouldn't tell the New York Times all of my family's business, and I am pretty sure most other people wouldn't either. How can a reporter get a realistic picture of the difficulties of large families, or ANY family structure/size/insert variable here, when many parents and children would defend their families out of loyalty and love? And so we fall back on outlier-as-parable/outlier-as-scapegoat: The "octomom" becomes the only way we can talk about our own fears and misgivings without sounding ungrateful or disloyal... and we can defend our own and our parents' choices, whatever they were, by comparing them favorably to hers. (fwiw, I'm biased strongly in favor of families with 3+ children, but this is a comment about the difficulties of doing journalism, and why people in unusual situations become celebrities.) In terms of journalism, I think these family-structure stories are so incredibly difficult because in order to portray a “balanced,” positives-and-negatives picture the reporter would often need to get parents to speak negatively about their experiences with their children or vice versa. I wouldn’t tell the New York Times all of my family’s business, and I am pretty sure most other people wouldn’t either.

How can a reporter get a realistic picture of the difficulties of large families, or ANY family structure/size/insert variable here, when many parents and children would defend their families out of loyalty and love?

And so we fall back on outlier-as-parable/outlier-as-scapegoat: The “octomom” becomes the only way we can talk about our own fears and misgivings without sounding ungrateful or disloyal… and we can defend our own and our parents’ choices, whatever they were, by comparing them favorably to hers.

(fwiw, I’m biased strongly in favor of families with 3+ children, but this is a comment about the difficulties of doing journalism, and why people in unusual situations become celebrities.)

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]]> By: Ben http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142293 Ben Fri, 20 Feb 2009 05:17:13 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142293 Interesting topic. I am the youngest of six children, and my eldest brother has five kids. My wife and I are leaning toward having none -- which also draws considerable negative comments. Actually, come to think of it, most people think my large family background sounds fun and mostly react negatively when I say we might not have kids, and I've lived in deeply blue areas for most of my adult life. You don't have to be rich to have a big family, but I think it's undeniable that kids in large families can be deprived of various resource advantages unless their parents are pulling in quite a lot of money. Here I'm thinking primarily of private schooling or good public schooling in expensive real estate markets, and travel in distances requiring an airplane. That said, kids in a large family I think have socialization advantages that are also valuable: patience, perspectives outside your age group, not always getting your way/being focus of attention. Based on what I've seen, the education of the eldest tends to suffer a bit because it's hard for those kids to get the space needed to study and they are also least likely to get significant travel experiences. One thing that's unfortunate about the demise of large families is that kids in these families are far more detached from their parents -- most of their time is spent with their siblings, rather than looking to their parents to provide all manner of entertainment and scheduling. I think that made for more independent people and parents that were less controlling. Interesting topic. I am the youngest of six children, and my eldest brother has five kids. My wife and I are leaning toward having none — which also draws considerable negative comments. Actually, come to think of it, most people think my large family background sounds fun and mostly react negatively when I say we might not have kids, and I’ve lived in deeply blue areas for most of my adult life.

You don’t have to be rich to have a big family, but I think it’s undeniable that kids in large families can be deprived of various resource advantages unless their parents are pulling in quite a lot of money. Here I’m thinking primarily of private schooling or good public schooling in expensive real estate markets, and travel in distances requiring an airplane. That said, kids in a large family I think have socialization advantages that are also valuable: patience, perspectives outside your age group, not always getting your way/being focus of attention.

Based on what I’ve seen, the education of the eldest tends to suffer a bit because it’s hard for those kids to get the space needed to study and they are also least likely to get significant travel experiences.

One thing that’s unfortunate about the demise of large families is that kids in these families are far more detached from their parents — most of their time is spent with their siblings, rather than looking to their parents to provide all manner of entertainment and scheduling. I think that made for more independent people and parents that were less controlling.

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]]> By: Jimmy Mac http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142290 Jimmy Mac Fri, 20 Feb 2009 02:55:28 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142290 I have a developmentally disabled sister. The idea of her having a child ... or anything near 12 children ... is beyond the pale. She lives by herself, but under constant supervision. She would NOT have the skills to raise a baby. I have a developmentally disabled sister. The idea of her having a child … or anything near 12 children … is beyond the pale. She lives by herself, but under constant supervision. She would NOT have the skills to raise a baby.

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]]> By: Perpetua http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142286 Perpetua Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:21:29 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142286 Hi Molly, You inspired me to do <a href="http://perpetuaofcarthage.blogspot.com/2009/02/cormelia-these-are-my-jewels.html" rel="nofollow">a post on Cornelia</a> and the famous "These are my jewels" quote and the metaphor of jewels for children. Hi Molly,
You inspired me to do a post on Cornelia and the famous “These are my jewels” quote and the metaphor of jewels for children.

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]]> By: Dan http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142279 Dan Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:53:39 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142279 The article has an adult-centric orientation that is characteristic of modern, secular thinking about children. No consideration is given to what it means for children to grow up with very few cousins and in neighborhoods that are devoid of other children to play with. I tell my children stories of how I grew up in a nieghborhood that was virtually overrun with children and how crowded my grandmother's house was with aunts, uncles and cousins when we gathered there. They say: "that sounds neat." And it was. The article has an adult-centric orientation that is characteristic of modern, secular thinking about children. No consideration is given to what it means for children to grow up with very few cousins and in neighborhoods that are devoid of other children to play with. I tell my children stories of how I grew up in a nieghborhood that was virtually overrun with children and how crowded my grandmother’s house was with aunts, uncles and cousins when we gathered there. They say: “that sounds neat.” And it was.

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]]> By: MikeL http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142274 MikeL Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:53:56 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142274 An interesting angle to include would be the long term demographics and how having so few children will affect entitlements like Social Security and all the debt generated by the stimulus bill. An interesting angle to include would be the long term demographics and how having so few children will affect entitlements like Social Security and all the debt generated by the stimulus bill.

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]]> By: SharperIron » A Look At Large Families http://www.getreligion.org/2009/02/are-children-a-form-of-wealth/comment-page-1/#comment-142273 SharperIron » A Look At Large Families Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:01:24 +0000 http://www.getreligion.org/?p=7950#comment-142273 [...] GetReligion- “Are Children a Form of Wealth?” [...] […] GetReligion- “Are Children a Form of Wealth?” […]

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